The Journey of Motherhood | Finding Community

Often times, as you venture into motherhood, you're surrounded by people who shower you with love, support, connection. But for some, community does not always exist. If you are blessed to already have a nurturing community surrounding you, I am so thankful that you do. Motherhood without community is lonely, and more difficult to navigate.

If you do not already have a nurturing community, let me be the first person to tell you:

You are not alone.

For most of my life, I suffered from severe separation anxiety. I could not handle being alone, but so often, I found my fear of being alone often pushed people further away.

After being told I was too codependent, I took that on as a challenge. I was going to be better. I was going to be independent. I was not going to need any one in my life. But that mindset brings a new danger in itself.

This mindset caused me to uproot myself from my safe, caring home that I had with my grandmother, pack everything I owned, and move to a new city where I didn't know anyone and had truthfully never been.

The separation anxiety started to take on deeper roots once I realized I had fully isolated myself. So I had a decision to make. I could either let it swallow me whole OR I could push myself out of my comfort zone and meet new people.

I started joining clubs at college, going out to beach events, visiting new restaurants and coffee shops. I pushed past my fear of rejection, my fear of being alone, my fear of being too much for someone. Ultimately, overcoming these fears led me to my husband, to reconnecting with old friends, to making new friends, to building deeper relationships with people in my life than I had ever built before.

Fast forward a few years, as I began the journey of carrying my son and welcoming him into the world. I realized all of the people I had pushed myself to make connections with were there for me. They were supporting me in my most vulnerable season when I needed all of them most. They traveled for me. Cooked for me. Cared for me. Loved me deeply. I am forever grateful for each and every one of them.

If you're entering the newest stages of motherhood without a community, I want you to know it is not too late to find people to surround yourself with. You can make new connections. You can meet other mothers who are already holding their babies or about to be. You can go to mommy classes. You can join a ladies or mommy group at your church, at a local recreation center, or even at your nearby park.

You can also surround yourself with professional support and community if that is something you need more than personal support. Find an OB or Midwife who can guide you through pregnancy. Find a doula and a lactation specialist who can support you through postpartum. Find a chiropractor or a yoga instructor to help you throughout your whole journey.

There is an entire world outside your door full of new connections, new friendships, and new support systems. You just have to be brave enough to take that first step out your door and say,

"Today, I will put myself out there!"

People want human connection. They want to have friends that they can share life with.

So let me ask you this - Are you ready to go out and find your community? They are waiting for you!