You're Not a Bad Mom - You're Just Having a Hard Moment

Motherhood would not have found you if you were not meant for it. 

Last spring, I was getting ready for the day with my 8 month old. This morning was especially tough as she was teething and only wanting to be held. I was easily frustrated, and then almost immediately, I felt upset with myself for being frustrated. My mind quickly took a turn and before I knew it, I was telling myself what a terrible mother I was being. 

“Why can’t I just be a patient and kind mother?”, I thought. 

That moment of frustration was over, but for some reason, I wanted to sit in the negative. And then, almost like a light switch, something shifted.

I started repeating to myself:

“I am patient, I am kind.”

Over and over.

And then it hit me - I am a patient and kind mother.. and I had a moment of frustration. That moment is over, I recognize it, and I can choose what comes next. 

That day ended up being pretty special. Nothing extraordinary happened, but I got to spend the day being present with my daughter instead of being in my negative mind. I noticed the small moments, the quiet ones. The moments that actually shape motherhood beautifully.  

We are so consumed with giving our children a wonderful childhood, and that’s a good thing. However, in many ways, their childhood is shaped around how we experience our motherhood - and we have more control over it than we realize. 

The mental load it takes to sustain human life is heavy - it can wear on you. If you are struggling in your season of motherhood right now, and you are reading this - I want you to pause for a moment and be present with yourself. 

What is true right now? 

Is your body safe?

Is your baby safe and healthy? 

Did you wake up this morning in a warm bed?

Do you have food to eat? 

If your answer to most of these questions were yes, you have something to be grateful for. Take a deep breath, inhale the scent of your baby, and find rest in the simple, positive things in your life. 

Each day, practice this. Be mindful. Take ownership of your thinking patterns and allow yourself to be content with where you are at.

And when you recognize those small, positive truths in your life, say them out loud. Share them with your baby. 

“I am so grateful for this yummy food!” 

“Our bed was so wonderful to wake up in.” 

“Our bodies are safe and healthy, that makes me happy!” 

Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard, but it gives you something steady to hold onto. Rest in these truths and remind yourself that gratitude can fuel your mental sustainability as you continue pouring into your children. 

Speaking life charges you to have a wonderful day, no matter what outside chaos is trying to take hold.